1) The idiot who thinks they are too important to wait for you at an all-way stop sign even though you were already not only there but already stopped. I was JUST about to go (as it WAS my turn to go) when I realized that this moron had absolutely NO intentions of even slowing down, let alone stopping. Just what does he think "STOP" means, anyways? Oh, I get, everyone ELSE stops but me, right? Fucking crackhead. Try to tell THAT to the judge. He's damn lucky I didn't get his fucking license plate.
2) The idiot who thinks I should disobey a cop's traffic directions. The officer was directing traffic last week as I left a sporting event and held his hand up towards me to stop, but the asswipe behind kept laying on his horn for me to go. "Yes, Your Honor, I know the officer said to stop, but Mr. Impatient here behind me said I needed to go, so I went." How well do you think THAT would go over?!
Just to clarify something to both of the impatient fuckers referenced in each of the aforementioned incidents: I am NOT a slow driver, so if you think I'm delibrately slowing you down or I would if you don't run the stop sign to get in front of me, you're delusional.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
President Bush: well-meaning dolt or nefarious Benedict Arnold?
President George W. Bush, like his daddy before him, is well-known for his malapropisms, to whit: "Rarely is the question asked, "Is our children learning?", "They misunderestimated me.", among many others. The question then is begged: is he truly an imbécile that means well or is he using them to try to cover up more ulterior motives, as Good Ol' Georgie would never mean to screw us over? As you will see, I'm inclined to ascribe to him the latter explanation. Simply put, he DID go to Yale, so even with Daddy's money, he couldn't have been an absolute dolt, not to also mention that even a true idiot would know that a) you don't solve a deficit with tax cuts, b) you don't solve a deficit by increasing expenditures, c) you REALLY don't solve a deficit by combining both a and b, and d) to tell the American people that Saddam Hussein had "weapons of mass destruction" when the CIA told him 2 MONTHS prior NOT to use that piece of flimsy 'intelligence'.
So you tell me: is he a well-meaning dolt or a nefarious Bendict Arnold, just another Vidkun Quisling? I steadfastly believe we will have in the next 5-10 years, another Great Depression and one day, generations from now, be it our kids, our grandkids, or even our great-grandkids will be taught that George W. Bush was the WORST ever president of the United States of America.
So you tell me: is he a well-meaning dolt or a nefarious Bendict Arnold, just another Vidkun Quisling? I steadfastly believe we will have in the next 5-10 years, another Great Depression and one day, generations from now, be it our kids, our grandkids, or even our great-grandkids will be taught that George W. Bush was the WORST ever president of the United States of America.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The 5 least effective presidents of US history
5) James Garfield, only lasted 81 days until he was assassinated.
4) William Henry Harrison, barely lasted 40 days before dying, ostensibly of pneumonia, though many modern-day historians believe he was poisoned.
3) Ulysses S. Grant, scandal-ridden presidency that made Richard Milhous Nixon look like a saint in comparison.
2) Warren G. Harding, even more scandal-ridden presidency, often blamed (rightly or wrongly) for the Great Depression.
1) George W. Bush, will be blamed for the next Great Depression which will hit us in the next 5-10 years due to his idiotic tax cuts, even more idiotic "economic stimulus" checks, and incredulously most idiotic financing of a war in Iraq based on faulty intelligence.
How sad is it that Garfield and Harrison, neither of whom lasted 3 months in the White House did more good for the United States than a moron who was never actually elected, stole not one but TWO elections, and then falsely claimed he had a "mandate" from the American populace?
You tell me.
4) William Henry Harrison, barely lasted 40 days before dying, ostensibly of pneumonia, though many modern-day historians believe he was poisoned.
3) Ulysses S. Grant, scandal-ridden presidency that made Richard Milhous Nixon look like a saint in comparison.
2) Warren G. Harding, even more scandal-ridden presidency, often blamed (rightly or wrongly) for the Great Depression.
1) George W. Bush, will be blamed for the next Great Depression which will hit us in the next 5-10 years due to his idiotic tax cuts, even more idiotic "economic stimulus" checks, and incredulously most idiotic financing of a war in Iraq based on faulty intelligence.
How sad is it that Garfield and Harrison, neither of whom lasted 3 months in the White House did more good for the United States than a moron who was never actually elected, stole not one but TWO elections, and then falsely claimed he had a "mandate" from the American populace?
You tell me.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Cats versus dogs
Why are dogs better than cats? Shall we prove it 'a priori' today?
1) Ever try to walk a cat?
2) Ever clean a litter pan? (Sure you might have to scoop up the dog shit, but you scoop cat shit as well, but you never have to change it simply on the account of urination as they piss outdoors.)
3) Ever see a cat give unconditional affection? (More like, it's only on their terms. They are to be a pet, not a slave owner.)
4) Ever hear the phrase, "Curiosity killed the dog."? Of course not, they're not as stupid as cats are.
5) Ever hear someone say, "A cat is man's best friend."? Of course not, see point #3.
6) Ever see a dog leave a hairball in your bed? Of course not. Now a cat on the other hand...
7) Ever take a cat on a vacation trip? Most cats hate to ride in a car as they equate it with a trip to the veternarian. Now a dog will usually be willing to ride in a car.
8) Shall I continue?
Cats are good for one thing and one thing only: target practice on a moving target.
Quite frankly, all cats should be sterilized so within 15-20 years, they'll all die off.
Fair warning to any person stupid enough to try to defend a cat as being "equal" to a dog or even more stupid and claim that a cat is "superior" to a dog:
If you think a cat is a dog's equal or superior, you clearly are one of the following:
a) retarded,
b) mentally insane,
c) delusional,
d) on heavy prescription medications,
e) on illegal narcotics, OR most likely
f) all of the above.
So, before anyone try to defend a cat, please give us full disclosure as to which one(s) of the aforementioned categories you fall under.
Thank you.
1) Ever try to walk a cat?
2) Ever clean a litter pan? (Sure you might have to scoop up the dog shit, but you scoop cat shit as well, but you never have to change it simply on the account of urination as they piss outdoors.)
3) Ever see a cat give unconditional affection? (More like, it's only on their terms. They are to be a pet, not a slave owner.)
4) Ever hear the phrase, "Curiosity killed the dog."? Of course not, they're not as stupid as cats are.
5) Ever hear someone say, "A cat is man's best friend."? Of course not, see point #3.
6) Ever see a dog leave a hairball in your bed? Of course not. Now a cat on the other hand...
7) Ever take a cat on a vacation trip? Most cats hate to ride in a car as they equate it with a trip to the veternarian. Now a dog will usually be willing to ride in a car.
8) Shall I continue?
Cats are good for one thing and one thing only: target practice on a moving target.
Quite frankly, all cats should be sterilized so within 15-20 years, they'll all die off.
Fair warning to any person stupid enough to try to defend a cat as being "equal" to a dog or even more stupid and claim that a cat is "superior" to a dog:
If you think a cat is a dog's equal or superior, you clearly are one of the following:
a) retarded,
b) mentally insane,
c) delusional,
d) on heavy prescription medications,
e) on illegal narcotics, OR most likely
f) all of the above.
So, before anyone try to defend a cat, please give us full disclosure as to which one(s) of the aforementioned categories you fall under.
Thank you.
Other traffic pet peeves
1) People, for crying the hell out loud, use your fucking turn signals! They are NOT an ornament hanging off of your steering column. They are MANDATED by law in all 50 US states, all 10 Canadian provinces, and in most countries, regardless of which side of the road you drive on.
2) Also, headlights are to be used whenever ANY one on the road might have visibility issues. Some states (including this one) actually require them any time visibility is 'less than perfect'. That means: is it raining? Turn on your headlights. Is it snowing? Turn on your headlights. Is is sunrise or sunset? Turn on your headlights. Are you approaching a hill where you can't see more than 50 feet in front of you? Turn on your headlights. So on and on forth.
3) People who do not know how to drive in an angled parking lot. They are designed for you to pull forward into the FIRST spot, not all the way through and for you to BACK out of. Furthermore, too many people seem to have a fetish for driving the WRONG way down one. It's very simple, if you are looking at an aisle and wondering if you can proceed or if traffic is coming against you, check the angles.
\\ // = you have the right of way down this aisle.
// \\ = wrong way, go to the next aisle
// // = bidirectional, you drive down the right hand side and pull in to a spot on the right hand side of the aisle
Are there any questions?
If any of those 3 things are too damn difficult to understand and to DO, then for the love of all the Gods, run (do NOT walk) to your nearest Secretary of State, Department of Motor Vehicles, or whatever else it's called in your governmental entity and voluntarily surrender your driver's license as you are apparently not intelligent enough to be trusted with one.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
2) Also, headlights are to be used whenever ANY one on the road might have visibility issues. Some states (including this one) actually require them any time visibility is 'less than perfect'. That means: is it raining? Turn on your headlights. Is it snowing? Turn on your headlights. Is is sunrise or sunset? Turn on your headlights. Are you approaching a hill where you can't see more than 50 feet in front of you? Turn on your headlights. So on and on forth.
3) People who do not know how to drive in an angled parking lot. They are designed for you to pull forward into the FIRST spot, not all the way through and for you to BACK out of. Furthermore, too many people seem to have a fetish for driving the WRONG way down one. It's very simple, if you are looking at an aisle and wondering if you can proceed or if traffic is coming against you, check the angles.
\\ // = you have the right of way down this aisle.
// \\ = wrong way, go to the next aisle
// // = bidirectional, you drive down the right hand side and pull in to a spot on the right hand side of the aisle
Are there any questions?
If any of those 3 things are too damn difficult to understand and to DO, then for the love of all the Gods, run (do NOT walk) to your nearest Secretary of State, Department of Motor Vehicles, or whatever else it's called in your governmental entity and voluntarily surrender your driver's license as you are apparently not intelligent enough to be trusted with one.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Cloverleaf ramps to enter an expressway: an idea whose time has past?
Ever happen to you? You're on a frigging cloverleaf ramp exiting off some road on to an expressway and get behind a semi (who HAS to be cautious) or some overly cautious driver who drives a mere 20-25 mph on the loop when the acceleration lane to merge into the expressway is rather short and you MUST be up to 55 mph, MINIMUM, per state law before you merge (barring inclement weather, of course), what do you do? Blow up your engine trying to accelerate hopelessly fast or merge into traffic at 35 and pray you don't get killed? (You know, there IS a reason they set a minimum. It's not just there for the fucking hell of it.)
So what is y'all take on this? As I see the issue, there's only a few possible solutions:
1) Deem cloverleaf ramps to be unsafe and pass a law against them for new construction (since 'ex post facto' laws are forbidden by the Constitution) and then go back and retrofit all of the dangerous previously existing ones?
2) Lengthen the acceleration lanes coming into the expressway to allow for a more sensible rate of acceleration?
3) Widen the cloverleaf by having a turn then a reasonable straightaway to accelerate with a very gradual turn to the acceleration lane?
4) Declare that the cloverleaf is a better alternative than to turn left across a busy road (which can be mitigated with traffic signals, mind you) or to do what is often called a "Michigan left" whereas you either (depending on the situation), turn right or go straight to turn left via an approved U-turn lane?
Keep in mind that should you choose number 4, that you need to convince me that traffic signals and a "Michigan left" are MORE unsafe than a cloverleaf.
::Snorts::
Good luck on that one!
So what is y'all take on this? As I see the issue, there's only a few possible solutions:
1) Deem cloverleaf ramps to be unsafe and pass a law against them for new construction (since 'ex post facto' laws are forbidden by the Constitution) and then go back and retrofit all of the dangerous previously existing ones?
2) Lengthen the acceleration lanes coming into the expressway to allow for a more sensible rate of acceleration?
3) Widen the cloverleaf by having a turn then a reasonable straightaway to accelerate with a very gradual turn to the acceleration lane?
4) Declare that the cloverleaf is a better alternative than to turn left across a busy road (which can be mitigated with traffic signals, mind you) or to do what is often called a "Michigan left" whereas you either (depending on the situation), turn right or go straight to turn left via an approved U-turn lane?
Keep in mind that should you choose number 4, that you need to convince me that traffic signals and a "Michigan left" are MORE unsafe than a cloverleaf.
::Snorts::
Good luck on that one!
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